Tonight I had a chance to babysit one of my best friend's son, Enriquo, who is 10 years old. It's a pretty normal occurrence, so I'm OK with the task. Now that he is older, the job is pretty cushy, meaning that he just entertains himself, and as long as he doesn't kill himself, I should be fine.
I think the first time I ever babysat someone on my own was my niece, Calimarie, when she was five years old (2006). It was pretty interesting. The only thing I remembered doing was fixing her some pop-tarts, and by fixing, I mean, cutting the edges off for her. My brother told me that she doesn't like the edges. Part of me thought "If she doesn't like the edges....make her take it off herself", but she was five, and that was my brother's instructions. However, she didn't finish eating her pop-tarts and while she thought I wasn't watching, she proceeded to throw a good portion of them away.
Kids have an uncanny sense that they are being caught, or rather, they look around to see if they are getting away with whatever they're not suppose to do. In this case, as she looked up from the trash can in the middle of the crime, she saw that I was just a few feet away, staring at her, with a smirk on my face. You should have seen the look on her face...that horrified look only a cute five year old can give. She started to plead, "Please don't tell Daddy that I was a bad girl!!!" Cute, huh?
OK...enough reminiscing.
Tonight, Enriquo and I got Chinese food, and then watched two episodes of "Flash Point". Somewhere in there I made him walk the dog...and then later in the evening, I showed him that the dog is defly afraid of our trash bins. Have you ever seen a dog put on the brakes and slide through the yard?
Like I said, a very cushy job.
And I'm glad that I have these moments to be of some influence in a child's life.
I actually had a teaching moment with Enriquo, but I'll spare the details. It was just neat to have that moment of instruction...and then quickly transform from the parent type back to a friend, asking him about his day and joking around about stuff. And that's the part that is missing in my life.
I've watched a lot of my friends start families, and go through the growing pains of parenthood. Some of their children are teenagers now.
I do not and can not comprehend the love of a parent for a child, but I hear it's unlike anything in this mortal life. Through this experience of parenthood, we understand more fully God's love for us, His patience, His forgiveness, His urgings to do the right things, in hopes that we choose to be more like Him. That's because we follow those same principles and patterns when we raise our own children...or at least that's what I hear. ;-)
An another note, someone once told me (one of my church leaders when I was living in Northern California) that a man remains Spiritually stagnant, until he becomes a father, or more specifically, a father in Zion. Can someone confirm that for me?
Parenthood is something I look forward to some day, whether they are my own children, or if they are part of a family I marry into.
But for now, I'll take those little babysitting moments anytime.
2 comments:
Vlad-
Obviously I wasn't there when you were told that a man stays "Spiritually stagnant" until they become a father.
I some respects that seems a little bit harsh. I'm not totally comfortable with purporting the idea that a man isn't capable of further spiritual growth unless he has children. I might be more comfortable with the statement if it included something about making a conscious choice not to become a father.
On the other hand I can understand something of what that comment is trying to get at. Becoming a parent has opened me up to an entirely different understanding of Heavenly Father's love for us, and how he can be so willing to love and forgive even the most defiant of us. It adds a new dimension to the idea of being His child.
It has also changed some of my understanding of scripture stories. I understand the Abraham and Issac story on a different level than I did before. I have a better idea of the struggles Lehi and his wife must have had watching their sons interact.
On top of that I suddenly became primarily responsible for the spiritual teaching of another being. It is like being a missionary all over again, with a long term investigator. I find myself constantly helping them identify the spirit, recognizing the spiritual application of even the mundane parts of life, and bearing testimony of truth. On top of all that, I now have all these little eyes watching everything I do, and at a certain age (seems to be around 6 in our house) little voices start to call me out when I'm not on the straight and narrow.
Not to mention the never ending opportunities to focus on serving others and put my own needs and desires on the back burner. (The most important lessons are generally the most painful ones to learn... if only I wasn't such a slow learner!)
So yes, I have had some spiritual experiences that I'm not sure I would have had if I didn't have my children. But I can only speak of my experiences, and I'm still not sure that it would be fair to suggest that one becomes stagnant if they don't have children. After all, I don't think I could tell you the topic on of a single Sacrament Meeting talk I've heard over the past 8 years, even 30 seconds after the talk was over. And let's not even get started on General Conference, I have no idea what I would do without the May and November editions of the Ensign!
Mat - Thank you so much for sharing such an insightful view of spirituality from your perspective. Glad you went into detail. I'm kinda living your life vicariously now. :-)
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